Lessons from 2023

Last year, I wrote an awesome year-in-view essay. Today’s essay will not be as good. However, it will be a lot shorter.

Today I did my best to give little to no advice, all I am doing is publicly admitting my shortcomings, my failures and the important lessons I learned I think might be useful to some others. I am also writing them as notes to myself.

I hope they’re useful to you.

• I got familiar with my insecurities. I got better at masking my low self-esteem. Tracing roots to why I have self-esteem issues in parts of my life didn't make it go away. I still have not solved this problem.

• Money comes. Money goes. Most importantly money will always be there.

• Banks fail. A lot. There is nothing like a safe bank or financial institution. Case in point FTX and the Silvergate bank collapse. I had the mistaken idea that if a crypto company was too big, it would be impossible to fail; I was wrong. I think that's important to remember as you're building up your wealth: don't put all your eggs in one basket, or in this case, in one bank.

• I wouldn't say I experienced body shaming, but I got a new perspective into how comments about the body can shape the psyche. Even to levels of dysmorphia.

I have been chubby. I have been sexy. I have been chubby again. Regardless of what shape you're in, most people will treat your body like it's your entire personality. I do not blame them, it is the shell you carry after all.

You look sexy, you're treated more like a sex object than a person. You're chubby, you're being told to get a man bra.

This is a gross oversimplification of course, but after a time, when you get excess comments on your body – positive or negative – they begin to affect your sense of self. You begin to think that all you are is your body and that if people perceive your body negatively, they'll perceive you negatively.

The same thing happens when you get too many positive comments. You're sexualized and objectified more than you need to be. People either don't listen to you at all because they're too focused on how to fuck you. Or they take your word as law and don't give you the permission to make mistakes; to be human.

I learned the importance of separating the self from the body. To remind myself that there is more to me.

I also learned to stop stuffing everything in my mouth and move my body more. Diet plays more of a role in fitness than we give it credit for, and exercise should never be neglected.

• Disappointing your parents is terrifying. Do it at least once.

• You can't save everyone. You shouldn't attempt to. Sometimes, people just want you to stand, watch and show support while they save themselves.

• I don't play identity games. This allows me to be more objective. When you remove your identity from the cause you're fighting for, you gain more clarity into your opposition's side. In my experience, that has made me a better debater. I also read a lot so that my arguments aren’t based on sentiment but trackable facts.

• Control over my biases. I use YouTube a lot. I listen to podcasts, interviews and video essays almost every week. Multiple times within that week.

  I do a good job of tracking the people I listen to. So I'm not surprised when I subconsciously have certain thought processes or biases towards certain things.

  It's important to me that I don't listen to stupid people. The reason is because I don't want to be stupid. Being a little bit smart is a lot better than being a little stupid.

  These people play their parts in the ways I envision the world. All the wisdom, empathy, perspective about the world I get credit for are all influenced in many ways by the people I listen to.

  I'm humble enough to admit how easily I can be persuaded into something. So the way I fight against it is to root my ideas deep with the people who are not only smarter than me but see the world from a bigger perspective than I do. Then I buy into those ideas.

  The final thing I do is think and question. I do this to decide my own truths for myself. These people may be smarter than me in multiple ways, but not everything in their life applies to mine. I'm also humble enough to acknowledge that.

  I choose what serves me and then move accordingly.

• I value people who refuse to lie to me. Thank you Nnamdi, you've been my realest gee this year. Your fearlessness and honesty taught me I'm not asking too much from people.

• Odumodublvck is the hardest musical artist to break out of Nigeria this year.

  I respect intentionality. I admire it. I want it for myself. That intention behind all of his public action is the actual reason I am a fan boy.

  Most people don't understand it. Most people don't understand artistic intention. Here are two examples:

  In writing, artistic intention is when a writer decides what emotions they want their audience to feel at some point during their work. They then envision how to make it happen, execute and put all the elements in place to ensure that when any audience member reads or watches that scene, they all get the same reaction.

  In shorter terms it is transferring a specific emotion from your head to other people at scale without leaving “room for interpretation.” It is very difficult to pull off.  I have done this extremely few times in my own writing.

  In branding, artistic intention is deciding that when people see a logo or perhaps a red traditionally Igbo cap, the first thing they think of is you and your brand.

  Most people don't understand the intricacies that go into making intentions work. And until they do, they will never achieve anything great.

OD's intentionality cuts across his branding, PR, marketing and music. Whether you hate him or love him right now is a product of that intention. More importantly the fact that you know his name at all, is a product of that intention.

Anyone who knows what it takes to create great work in any domain cannot help but respect that; myself included.

• I love gifting. I love receiving gifts. Money does wonders for your love languages.

• When you fail to execute properly, you fail entirely.

• Jealousy is an interesting emotion. Don't hate yourself for feeling it. Don't let it consume you either.

• The more I think about it, I'm always a value-add to the people who involve me in their lives. Whether it's opportunities, gifts, money, mindset shifts, life advice, relationship advice, a good experience, delicious meals, good stories, laughter, orgasms, multiple orgasms or just a fun person to be around and talk to.

  As the value of my life improves, the higher the quality of the value I add to the life of other people. I hope that never changes.

• If you love music, good air pods and speakers are a worth-while investment.

• Nothing gave me as much anxiety this year like trading on the foreign currency market. I developed a newfound respect for successful currency traders.

• I love friendship dates. In my adult life, I've seen how difficult it is to make time for your people. Life keeps happening to everyone. But that's the thing about scheduling and intention innit? Those who want to will.

  More importantly there's no pressure. Just two friends, existing within each other's space, enjoying their company and enjoying their adventure in the outside world.

• Jujutsu Kaisen was the hardest anime to come out in 2023. Do you know what it means to suffer spoilers and still enjoy a show thoroughly and even watch it multiple times during its own release? Intention I tell you.

  After it, you will find Heavenly Delusion.

• Nuance, context and bias are my most used words this year. I hate it when people talk carelessly in Every. Single. Situation. Every person I have ever admired has one consistent trait: they ground themselves in the truth of reality, and then build their way up. Every single one. They can’t afford to make judgments blindly without considering certain truths.

  So when people refuse to consider the context or nuance of a given situation before talking, arguing or straight out judging, it unfortunately annoys me. They do not see the damage it causes, or they do not care.

  Most people don't care about the truth.  Ironically, it is the only truth about reality I have yet to fully accept. At the same time, I must also add that it’s important to find what is true for you. What is true does not falter.

• Money exists in abundance.

• I understand where King Solomon was coming from. Me sef, if I could, I would.

• I am not as intentional in my actions as all the people I admire are. I know intentionality takes time to develop. But I do not like that it’s a flaw that I have.

I wish everyone reading this a successful 2024.

The only thing I can say is 2024 is going to be my year. 

You were looking for someone to say it confidently, so there, I said it: 2024 is going to be my year. See you on the other side.

Stay easy,

Dave.