We All Need a Witness to our Existence: The Importance of Relationships
How else can we know that we lived?
We all want a witness to our lives.
We want to be able to say to someone without guilt: hey, look at my pain, look at my suffering, see how hard I work, look at all I go through to keep the world happy.
And we want this person to see us and understand.
We do not want their pity or their help or their sympathy. We just want a witness that shows they understand us. We want a witness that says, I see the work you’re doing, it is not in vain.
The need for a witness is parts of the reasons people enter romantic relationships. That deep desire to be immortalized through time is why close friendships exist.
More importantly, I think that our desire for a witness is why break-ups (friendly or romantic) are gut wrenching. Because now that they’re gone, who’s going to be the witness to your life?
Through out life, a lot of people never get witnesses.
I watch a lot of crime movies, and most times the witness for the main character is often the trusted driver, the butler or an old work-friend he can’t get rid off. It’s as if lovers or families aren’t sufficient witnesses to their existence. There are times where the witness is a lover or a wife, but those are rare.
I think it’s because there are certain things we can’t divulge to the people we love lest they pity us.
I know this is a bad mental frame. In an ideal world, those we love would be the perfect witnesses; they would give us the perfect emotional response we want.
But this is not an ideal world.
We are afflicted by the human condition.
As a result we stay searching, forever waiting for the witness who will stay. And sometimes, we find them.
Until next time,
Dave.
P.S. Happy New Month 🌹