The first time I saw quicksand was in some movie. Some friends were running away from something. I can’t remember if they were running from cannibals, dinosaurs or their problems, but I do remember they were running.
In the frenzy, two of the friends ran through what looked like wet sand and all of a sudden they couldn’t move.
One of their friends got in and tried to help, but he got stuck too. The more they struggled, the more they sank. They were not only stuck, they were dying.
But all was not lost, because the last two who weren’t in the sand, got big sticks and dragged them out. They were careful not to get into the same terrible situation their friends had gotten into. And soon they were out; running away from their problems together again.
So the question is:
Am I stuck?
I don’t know. Some days it feels like I am, other days it doesn’t.
I'm facing a lot of resistance in my personal life right now; a lack of motivation, a general tiredness, a questioning of when will all this be enough?
There’s also this feeling of I know I'm not doing enough. I know I'm not delivering results, or enough results to push me towards my goal, so what do I have to do to get there?
Today’s letter, if it will be a letter, will be short. It will talk about me and maybe, just maybe, it will teach you something about yourself too.
As the letters have progressed I ask myself each week;
What will I write on next?
How do I keep these fresh, and interesting?
Is this newsletter a distraction from my personal and financial goals?
While all of these are personal questions and will be answered personally it leads me to more questions.
What are my goals?
On Growth
What I’ve learned, so far, is that anyone who’s on a journey to grow and improve their selves will find their mindset consistently changing.
As it changes, so do their priorities and their goals. Nothing is straightforward.
Your life, your journey, your growth; none will never be straightforward.
There’s something I’ve been saying recently:
I am formless. I am becoming. I am in the process of… I am not there, wherever there may be, yet, but I am in the process of. Therefore, I can, and will be anything I want to be.
You are the potter of your own soul – do not let others define you.
What I mean is, you are not your past experiences, do not let them define you.
What I mean is, think about who you want to be, and do not let anybody hold you back.
If you feel stuck, there are ways out. There is a way forward. Ask for help, but only you should choose who you are and who you want to be.
Discipline
I’ve also been thinking about discipline a lot. What it means for me, and what it will mean going forward.
As I indulge in more practical activities my mindset changes. It feels like I need some kind of guidance because believe it or not, on most days I don’t even know what the fuck I'm doing. I am simply just doing.
I feel lost.
Time
I try not to worry about time a lot, but occasionally I do. I may be young but contrary to popular belief, I don’t have all the time in the world.
The reason I try not to worry is because time is endless, there is nothing that I'm doing now that I cannot do later, and I simply have to choose when I must do it.
The problem with this thought process is you need pressure to achieve some things, and I swear there’s nothing as powerful as the pressure of time.
Friendship
Your will either outgrow your old friends or they will outgrow you.
Either that or the universe will do something that sets distance between you and them. Maybe not distance in terms of location, but it could be emotional distance, or experience distance or for some reason you both don’t vibe anymore.
I feel that’s where I am in a lot of my relationships.
I need to meet new people. I don’t worry about this too much though. I trust that the universe will continue to bring me to the best people; it is not something I try to always control.
On control:
It’s hard man. You can’t control everything, but you gotta do what you gotta do.
My exams have been semi-smooth this season, the timetable settings have been arduous though but I'm scaling through – Just one more for the semester, and I’m done.
Moving Forward
The articles I want to write about are probably becoming difficult to follow. Most of them are things that are new to me too, I’ll have to learn from scratch and rewrite into something you can flow through and understand.
I don’t exactly mind this. Learning and teaching is not something I intend to complain about.
This kind of brings me to the point of: do what you want to do as long as you're interested in it.
Time may be endless but it doesn’t mean that you should spend it doing what other people want you to do without doing anything for yourself.
Do something for yourself! It is your life after all.
As I grow and figure it out, I predict that the newsletter will become divided into sections. Whenever that happens, I’ll have to figure out the best way to arrange it so that anyone can easily follow through on the topics they’re interested in.
On Productivity
I’ve figured I'm actually great at giving productivity advice/tips.
So what I want you to do is write in the comments your biggest problems with productivity, self-development and growth.
If I haven’t written about it then I’ll write about them soon enough.
Or if your problem is more personal and you want personal advice, you can text me on my WhatsApp here.
Or reply this email.
In the meantime, here are the productivity topics I’ve talked about so far:
Accountability: with the Nigerian politician series.
Improving confidence: with Becoming Batman
Better planning: with the Rule of Scope
Next week I’ll write you a letter about Entropy; what it is and how to fight it.
Whether or not you learned anything from this, never forget: Do whatever the fuck you want, as long as you’re interested in it.
Talk to you soon.
Stay easy,
Dave.
P.S: if you need help with your writing, editing or proofreading, you can reach out to me here.
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My friend says, "In Nigeria, to make money, you need money."
And for some reasons - being the pepper I've seen in life - I agree.
When I got to the end of this letter, I saw stay easy. And I realised that's how I was when I was reading this letter. There's something about the relatability of this letter that sucks you in. My problem with productivity is sometimes the work that goes into it is sometimes so tasking that if you're not properly grounded sometimes, it's easy to drown. So these days, I find myself not talking about the things I plan to achieve so much because the more ears that hear, the more people I have to be accountable to. So it's going to suck double if I don't measure up but sometimes, I just want to exist.